Boost your life in 2026

It may sound counterintuitive, but Dr Olivia Remes in Cambridge’s Department of Engineering says trying to be your best self all the time doesn’t always lead to better outcomes – and it can block you from solving your problems. She advises trying these tips to live a more satisfying life:

Stop trying to ‘self-optimise’. We’re living in the era of self-optimisation – doing everything we can to be our best self. This has been driven in large part by research that’s shown how tiny daily changes to your routine can have huge, cumulative effects in the long run, and social media influencers who have popularised the idea of ‘life hacks’. We’ve also become very aware of the importance of wellbeing, and advances in science have shown us ways to fine-tune ourselves. 

Self-optimisation is, no doubt, helpful in improving our habits, reaching personal milestones, and making us feel a sense of accomplishment along the way. The danger is when this gets out of hand – when consistently tracking the number of hours slept during the night or steps taken each day starts to take over your life. Being mindful of your actions and the reasons for them – the meaning behind it all – are key in helping you remain grounded and balanced.

Stop blocking out your problems. When some people are faced with difficulties in life, they turn to unhelpful ways of coping like self-blame, denial, and avoidance. Avoidance of stressful problems has been linked to depression and anxiety. It’s harmful for wellbeing especially when the problems are within your control, such as making a doctor’s appointment or initiating a difficult conversation. So next time you’re faced with an issue, try brainstorming ways of resolving the situation or taking a small step forward, rather than blocking it out.

Letting go of perfectionism is key to this. When you stop trying to find the ‘best’ solution to a problem and let go of the need to be right, you realise it becomes easier to cope with and tolerate your own mistakes.

Stop always trying to win. If a problem really is beyond your control, it’s often helpful to turn to acceptance as a form of coping. Sometimes in life, relationships or friendships don’t work out, and there’s nothing we can do to win the other person back. During these times, it may be tempting to keep chasing the friend or partner. But have you noticed that sometimes, the harder you work to please or win someone over, the further that person drifts away? In such circumstances, learn to lose – simply accept that the relationship or friendship has run its course, and just let go. Research has also shown that acceptance can act as a buffer against negative emotions and thoughts. 

Remes is author of ‘The instant mood fix’ and ‘This is how you grow after trauma’ (Penguin Random House).